Answered Prayers

I haven’t been up to writing anything for the last week or so.

This is heavy, the weight of one’s own sin.

Husband and I have texted off and on for the last 2 weeks. And he has shown a lot of anger and hostility, and rightfully so.

However, it has caused conflict in my spirit.

Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for the revelations of truth about who I have been, because awareness brings change. But, in my residual hurt and bitterness, part of me is wondering, “Okay, Lord. You showed me who I am. How come you haven’t showed him who he is?”

And during one of our conversations/arguments, Husband feels the need to shift all the blame onto me, even for his own actions, which I refused to accept.

The internal dialogue with Holy Spirit insued:

“Can you believe this guy?!? HOW on earth am I responsible for everything HE chose to do?? It isn’t love to take full responsibility for someone else’s sin!!”

(Holy Spirit) “Then what was it when Christ did it for you?”

OUCH!

Abba showed me that I had been “preachy” rather than the gentle and quiet spirit that He commanded wives to be. God had never “preached” at me. He simply opened His arms; He welcomed me. I began to understand what this question meant as I mulled it over in my head.

I started to literally feel my husband’s hurt and loneliness.

::Love…not guilt…took full blame for my filth. And THAT is what fostered healing, growth, and the beginning of true sanctification::

I texted Husband after a while of fighting with myself. “I’d be willing to accept responsibility for your own personal choices in this.”

The entire mood of the responses changed immediately.

He apologized for his angry replies and asked me to send him some pictures of our girls, whom he hasn’t seen in almost 10 months. He had never asked before.

After a little back and forth in this tone, I asked him if he would tell me what his feelings on divorce were. I told him if he wanted it, I would respect it and move forward with plans to get ahead here and try and find a better place to live. And if divorce is not what he truly wanted, I wanted him to ask me to come home and I’d begin preparing to do so asap.

At 11:05pm on February 27th, he sent the text pictured above. Just 2 words.

“Come home”