When the response is no response.

I want him to see that my heart isn’t the same cold, monument to SELF that it once was.

I want him to feel the pain and tenderness that resides there now, instead of the bitterness and resentment caused by the abuse. The Lord, my gracious Lord, has peeled, and scraped, and sanded away literally years worth of calloused layers my heart has built…I forgave…why can’t he?

Words can only penetrate a brick wall so deeply and cries of sorrow can only do so much when the eyes are cast elsewhere and the ears have fallen deaf.

So, I’ll cry. And I’ll pray. And I’ll wait.

Thank you, Father for the pain. It feels as though it may kill me, but it means you’ve changed something in me. For that I’m grateful. You have taken a heart of stone and replaced it with a heart of flesh. For that I’m grateful. I know that even if he chooses to sever the bond permanently, it means You are still moving and have not left either of us stagnant. For that I’m grateful. Though You slay me, yet will I praise You! Do what You will. Have YOUR way. In Jesus’s name. AMEN.